Little Tools

It seems to me that God has given me little things, little tools, that I can use to calm down, be happy and direct myself back to God. He's given me little things that make it easier for me to pursue Him. He knows how weak I am and so helps me out a little extra ( As if the sacraments, saints, and His own body, blood, soul and divinity weren't enough ;) but I am weak and He wants success. I thought I'd just write up a little list of the things for which I most often say "thank You".

Running: Running gets me out of my head and gives me something to focus on. It helps me de-stress (yay for endorphins!) and feel better about myself. My body and body image has always been a huge struggle for me -- it quite often consumes me -- so anything I can do to boost confidence and feelings about my body is really wonderful. Also is gives me a great sense of accomplishment: "Yes! I pushed myself 5 mins longer!" "I finally made it to my 30min goal!" even if it's just "Well, I didn't want to start, and I wanted to quit the whole time but I pushed myself. I did it." They're small accomplishments but they do me alot of good. So running is a great little tool for me to feel better about myself sometimes some suffering to offer up ;)

Writing: This isn't always as constant as running. I will always feel good about getting out and running, even just for 5 mins. But writing... meh. Sometimes I completely give up. I think I'm an incredibly terrible writer and so I quit. But there are other times when writing makes me happy. It makes me feel like I have a skill to give back to Him.

Good Company: A night of discussion or talking, joking and goofing off with friends makes me feel united. We are all broken, all trying for the same end goal and we all need each others help.

Pretty Little Things: A pretty skirt, a good hair day, good coffee, pretty flowers... I'm a girl, okay? Little moments of beauty or calm can totally reshape my day.

Moments of Quiet: A silent, peaceful morning or just a moment to breathe and reorient oneself with the world: "I am here and He is all around."

Music, Art, Nature... : Now this one applies for every single person.  Beautiful art, music and scenery cannot help but direct ones mind to the Origin of such beauty. Same applies to poetry which often appeals to me more than prose because of the emotion and feeling often more effectively expressed. 
This is a song I just found and love: Hero by Abandon

God Bless,

Liz

Bells

"The bells say: we have spoken for centuries from the towers of great Churches. We have spoken to the saints your fathers, in their land. We called them, as we called you, to sanctity. What is the word with which we called them?

We did not merely say, 'Be good, come to Church. We did not merely say, 'Keep the commandments' but above all, 'Christ is risen, Christ is risen!' And we said: 'Come with us, God is good, salvation is not hard, His love has made it easy!' And this, our message, has always been for everyone, for those who came and for those who did not come, for our song is perfect as the Father in heaven is perfect and we pour our charity out upon all." -Thomas Merton

Imitation

Mary, you still loved those who beat, mocked and killed your Son. I think, then, I can at least be nice to those who are rude to me or hurt me. It is nothing in comparison to what you endured but it is my own poor way of imitating you, my beautiful Mother.

Temptation ≠ Sin

I was reading a chapter of a book by St.Frances de Sales which was focused on temptation vs actually sinning. He said that even if a soul was tempted with a certain sin his whole life, he would be doing no wrong in the sight of God, as long as he took no pleasure in the temptations or consented. St.Frances gives examples of saints who were so aggressively tempted in their lives but remained holy because they kept resisting. The easy thing would have been to give in, but they kept fighting.

In the next chapter, St.Frances illustrates this principle with the example of St. Catherine of Siena: 

"The devil was permitted by God vehemently to assault her purity so long as he touch her not, filled her heart with all manner of unholy suggestions, and, together with his associates, exposed her to all manner of assaults, which, although they were external, so penetrated her heart that, according to her own confession, all save her most refined and pure superior will was agitated by the storm. This lasted some time, until at last, beholding her Savior, she exclaimed, "O my Savior! Where wert Thou when my heart was so filled with darkness and base thoughts?" To which He replied "My daughter, I was within thy heart." "How couldst Thou be there," she asked, "when is was so foully tenanted? Dost Thou come into that which is impure?" But He inquired, "Tell me, did these unholy thoughts fill thy heart with pleasure or sadness, with delight or with bitterness?" "With exceeding sadness and bitterness." she made answer. The He replied, "Who filled thy heart with such sadness except Myself, who was hidden within thy soul? Believe Me, my daughter, had I not been there, these thoughts which assailed thy will, but could not master it, would have conquered and effected their entrance; thou wouldst freely have received them, and thus thy soul had perished; but inasmuch as I was within, I filled thy heart with displeasure and resistance, so that it resisted the temptation to the utmost of it's power. Therefore thy sufferings were worthy, and have greatly added to thy virtue and to thy strength!"

I know I have often struggled with thoughts popping into my head and then I get angry with myself for sinning. For example, if I'm trying not to be jealous or think bad things about another but sometimes the thoughts almost automatically pop up and sometimes lead to a stream of thoughts that I would never think; if I beat myself up over it, I'll get no where. But if I keep bringing all my worries and struggles to the Light they will then not be able to grow, develop, and wound me. I find this passage comforting because it say that if Jesus was not with me, I would delight in these bad thoughts. I, however, hate them and feel as if they are forced on me so there must be some goodness opposing them. 

"Grief Should Be Like Joy..."

As a graduation present my mom bought me A Book of Religious Verse. Around the same time I picked up The Oxford Book of English Verse and The Oxford Book of American Verse (for free!) at a book sale; as you might expect, I've been reading a lot of poetry and it's been showing up on my other blog. One thing that always strikes me is how God unites everybody together. I just find it so awesome to read this poetry written in the 1500's that is filled with thoughts and feelings I too have experienced.  Our God is an eternal God. He never ever changes. He inspired the same love and devotion 1,000 years ago as He did now as He will 1,000 in the future! We are all connected as being creatures of the same glorious Lord and by striving to serve Him.

This poem just really helped me through the day yesterday. I've been posting poetry on my other blog so I thought I'd give it a break and share it with you guys!

Sorrow

by: Aubrey De Vere (1814 -1902)

Count each affliction, whether light or grave,

God's messenger sent down to thee; do thou

With courtesy receive him; rise and bow;

And, ere his shadow pass thy threshold, crave

Permission first his heavenly feet to lave;

Then lay before him all thou hast; allow

No cloud of passion to usurp thy brow,

Or mar thy hospitality; no wave

Of mortal tumult to obliterate 

The soul's marmored calmness: Grief should be,

Like joy, majestic, equable, sedate;

Confirming, cleansing, raising, making free;

Strong to consume small troubles; to commend

Great thoughts, grave thoughts, thoughts lasting to the end.

"Grief should be like joy...confirming, cleansing, raising, making free" that's my favorite part. Sorrows allow us to show our love to our Savior; it raises us up to Him. It frees us from the luxuries and vanity of this world and teaches us to live for what really matters. 

On Exercise and Diet.

Alright. So it's obviously healthy eating and diet are a huge obsession in our society today. But don't you think it's sort of "animalistic" to live your life for the body? We need to survive, obviously, but we also have leisure as a result of living in society. This leisure allows us to satisfy the needs of the soul and be men. Men have souls which are able to know, love, and delight in the good. So we can see how it would be greatly lacking in only striving to take care of the body. I mean, soon enough each one of us will die and..bye-bye body! While taking care of our body is obviously not an end in itself it is necessary for taking care of the needs of the soul in the most efficient way possible.


1.) We are commanded by God to take care of our bodies "Do you not know your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit?" We must take care of our bodies to survive and a healthy person will live longer than the unhealthy one. We may not decide when we die and that's what we're doing in a sense when we live with habit we know are destructive and are keeping us from living as God intended.


2.) We feel better. While feelings are not Truths and should not have that much effect... we are men. Why make to path to holiness harder? When I stuff my face and never exercise I feel awful and it consumes my mind. It's so hard for me to feel capable of anything when I feel my body dragging me down. When I don't take care of my body I'm just inviting the devil to use all my insecurities against me.


3.) What about fasting? While it is good to fast from time to time to detach ourselves, we cannot read of saints fasting for very long times and feel that we are failing if we don't do the same. Each person has a different calling with different duties. For example, the father with children could not go without food for very long because it would leave him incapable to take care of his family as he should.


4.) Some people don't take care of their bodies and say "Well, God doesn't care how I look!" well...duh. That's not the point. But many problems like binging and extreme dieting are effects of something wrong internally. It shows lacking a proper respect of ourselves as God's creations. Food often consumes and refusing to deny yourself from it's pleasure means it's controlling you. Obviously, that's bad. 

it's gonna be okay

it's the little things.

the feeling of  "it's gonna be okay." 

knowing my Father is the Creator of the universe & He loves me so very dearly.

everything is in His plan for me.

I totally abandon myself to You. 

I surrender.

You conquer my heart with Your most tender, gentle, mighty love and there is absolutely nothing else that I could ever need.

my Jesus, i trust in You.

F Y I

- 'Who you are' is not defined by other people.
- 'How much you're worth' is not affected by talents or abilities.
- 'How much you're loved' is not determined by others. You are loved infinitely by God; and the last time I checked, the infinite trumps the finite. 'Infinite' is sooo undefinably vast that the finite really can't affect it.
- 'What others think of you' is irrelevant! Christ was mocked and hated on this earth, so were many saints. Their glory was in staying faithful to the will of God no matter what the world said. You should not, however, hide your goodness; that would be uncharitable towards others who could be greatly helped by you. Humility cannot contradict charity. If it does, well, you're doing it wrong.
- 'Feeling ugly in the mirror' is painful, however, you are more than your body. You are body and soul. A beautiful soul will earn you eternal bliss with your Savior and peace on this earth; a toned, skinny, "perfect" body will earn you..uh....(see my point?) BUT you must take care of your body! Binging and starving are awful, addictive, consuming problems. A healthy respect of your body will come naturally from a good soul aiming for perfection. When we have internal problems of the soul, they are often shown on the outside. e.x. binging, starving, too much make up, too little care for appearance, cutting..etc.


When you feel discouraged and unloved, offer it up to your Savior and remind yourself of the faithful, never ending, purely selfless, marvelous love He has for you. Look at the cross, there you shall find that Love you're searching for.

The Romance of Good Order

I've been reading a little bit of G.K. Chesterton lately. I love him! His wit and wonderful common sense are so refreshing. This is an excerpt from his book The Man Who Was Thursday (A Nightmare). 

Gregory resumed in high oratorical good humour.

"An artist is identical with an anarchist," he cried. "You might transpose the words anywhere. An anarchist is an artist. The man who throws the bomb is an artist, because he prefers a great moment to everything. He sees how much more valuable is one burst of blazing light, one peal of perfect thunder, than the mere common bodies of a few shapeless policemen. An artist disregards all governments, abolishes all conventions. The poet delights in disorder only. If it were not so, the most poetical thing in the world would be the Underground Railway."

"So it is," said Mr. Syme.

"Nonsense!" said Gregory, who was very rational when anyone else attempted paradox. "Why do all the clerks and navvies in the railway trains look so sad and tired, so very sad and tired? I will tell you. It is because they know the train is going right. It is because they know that whatever place they have taken a ticket for that place they will reach. It is because they have passed Sloane Square they know that the next station must be Victoria, and nothing but Victoria. Oh, their wild rapture! oh their eyes like stars and their souls again in Eden, if the next station were unaccountably Baker Street!"

"It is you who are unpoetical," replied the poet Syme. "If what you say of clerks is true, they can only be as prosaic as your poetry. The rare, strange thing is to hit the mark; the gross, obvious thing is to miss it. We feel it is epical when man with one wild arrow strikes a distant bird. Is it not also epical when man with one wild engine strikes a distant station? Chaos is dull; because in chaos the train might indeed go anywhere, to Baker Street or to Bagdad. But man is a magician, and his whole magic is in this, that he does say Victoria, and lo! it is Victoria. No, take your books of mere poetry and prose; let me read a time table, with tears of pride. Take your Byron, who commemorates the defeats of man; give me Bradshaw, who commemorates his victories. Give me Bradshaw, I say!"

Princess.

So Helen and I were talking the other day and she was describing one of her friends "She always dresses so nicely...she always looks like a princess." I kept thinking about it the rest of the day and I realized that I have really changed. I used to be one of those girls who would get angry and shut out anybody (especially giving an all-girl talks at a retreat) saying "You're all princesses! You're all worthy of love! You're all beautiful!" While other girls would get all happy and hug each other, I would turn off all emotions and refuse it. "No. You don't know me. Stop telling me those lies." Obviously deep down I knew I wanted to be those things but I felt they were unobtainable for me. I felt like I was being taunted. 

When Helen described her friend as "like a princess" I didn't feel jealous. I've changed. By growing closer to God I've learned to see myself as what I am. HIS. 

I am not my own - I am His! 

Words cannot describe how much comfort that brings me. I am not my own.  It doesn't matter what others think of me or what my worth is in terms of this world. My value is determined by Somebody unchanging. I am His and so I have an undeniable worth as His creation. 

God doesn't create things that are worthless. All of His creations are to be treasured, protected, admired, valued and taken care of.  

Now when I think of somebody with a "princess mindset" I do not think of some pretty, bratty girl thinking she is owed the world saying "I'm worth soo much! Give me your love cuz you owe it to me. I'm so dang special." <.<... No, now I think of a calm acceptance and an aknowledgement of one's worth or at least I think that is ideal. 

I think that type of mindset is truly feminine and that dressing well and modestly is a great way to reflect that and reminding yourself and others of the great dignity you have as God's creation.

Now You're Free...and it Sets You Apart

 "Now you're free and it sets you apart" This song got across a very important point to me right when I needed it. For years I had been struggling with certain sins that had really (it's sad to say) consumed my life. Last year, God changed alot of things in my life and helped me conquer those sins. But one thing kept nagging at me, luring me back. "Now that I don't have those problems," I thought " There's nothing special about me any more." It felt as if I had lost the only things that defined me or set me apart. 

*sigh* That's the devil for ya.

Once he loses the grip he had on you, he tries to make you think "you are nothing without this. you aren't special. you are nothing." He sees you growing stronger and breaking free but he won't give you up easily. He wants to keep you in his power. He knows how dear you are to God who is his enemy. God will give you all the strength to fight but you must choose to fight this battle and not bow down to the enemy.  

"Now you're free and it sets you apart." Freedom is what sets you apart. Being yet another soul trapped in sin, believing lies, is no freedom. Never go back to those sins that held you captive. You are free! You are one step closer to our glorious Lord... and it sets you apart. :)

Making a Spiritual Communion

Today I went to Adoration at the church next to my school. I picked up a book about the Eucharist and I started reading it, and I found a part about spiritual Communions. A spiritual communion, according to St. Thomas, consists in an ardent desire to receive Jesus in the Eucharist and a loving embrace as though we had already received him. A person can make a spiritual Communion when he is unable to attend Mass or when he has not confessed a mortal sin and is unable to receive Communion sacramentally. These are incredible graces! I already knew about those before today, but this afternoon, I found out that a spiritual Communion can be made any time and anywhere, and that the graces received in this kind of Communion are comparable to the graces received in Sacramental Communion. I'll have to go find the part of the book that talks about this and post it here, because the writer explains this far more beautifully and movingly than I am.
Blessed Angela of the Cross (I think) made one hundred spiritual Communions in a day and one hundred more at night. She said, "If my confessor had not taught me this method of communicating, I could scarcely live."


St. Padre Pio said, “Go to the tabernacle in spirit when you are unable to do so physically, and there pour out your ardent desires, talk, pray, and embrace the Beloved of our souls, even more than if you had been permitted to receive Him sacramentally.”


Blessed Pope John Paul II (Pope Blessed? Blessed Pope?) wrote in his Ecclesia de Eucharistia:

In the Eucharist, "unlike any other sacrament, the mystery [of communion] is so perfect that it brings us to the heights of every good thing: Here is the ultimate goal of every human desire, because here we attain God and God joins himself to us in the most perfect union."

Precisely for this reason it is good to cultivate in our hearts a constant desire for the sacrament of the Eucharist. This was the origin of the practice of "spiritual communion," which has happily been established in the Church for centuries and recommended by saints who were masters of the spiritual life. St. Teresa of Jesus wrote: "When you do not receive communion and you do not attend Mass, you can make a spiritual communion, which is a most beneficial practice; by it the love of God will be greatly impressed on you" [The Way of Perfection, Ch. 35.].1 .

Thus, the passionate desire for God, whom the saints have seen as the Sole Satisfier, and who in the Eucharist is the "summit and source of the Christian life", is at the root of this practice. The experience of St. Padre Pio illustrates the compelling desire felt by the saints in the face of the drawing and attracting power of God's love: “My heart feels as if it were being drawn by a superior force each morning just before uniting with Him in the Blessed Sacrament. I have such a thirst and hunger before receiving Him that it's a wonder I don't die of anxiety. I was hardly able to reach the Divine Prisoner in order to celebrate Mass. When Mass ended I remained with Jesus to render Him thanks. My thirst and hunger do not diminish after I have received Him in the Blessed Sacrament, but rather, increase steadily. Oh, how sweet was the conversation I held with Paradise this morning. The heart of Jesus and my own, if you will pardon the expression, fused. They were no longer two hearts beating but only one. My heart disappeared as if it were a drop in the ocean.”^[1]

St. Jean-Marie Vianney compared spiritual communion to blowing on fire and embers that are starting to go out in order to make them burn again: “There are some who make a spiritual communion every day with blessed bread. If we are deprived of Sacramental Communion, let us replace it, as far as we can, by spiritual communion, which we can make every moment; for we ought to have always a burning desire to receive the good God. Communion is to the soul like blowing a fire that is beginning to go out, but that has still plenty of hot embers; we blow, and the fire burns again. After the reception of the Sacraments, when we feel ourselves slacken in the love of God, let us have recourse at once to spiritual communion. When we cannot go to the church, let us turn towards the tabernacle; no wall can shut us out from the good God.”

St. Josemaria Escriva taught spiritual communions improve presence of God: "What a source of grace there is in spiritual Communion! Practise it frequently and you'll have more presence of God and closer union with him in your life." He also taught: "Do not neglect to say, “Jesus, I love you”, and make one spiritual communion, at least, each day, in atonement for all the profanations and sacrileges he suffers because he wants to be with us."

According to Catholic theologians, the value of a spiritual can be as great as Holy Communion itself. "Spiritual Communion, as St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Alphonsus Liguori teach, produces effects similar to Sacramental Communion, according to the dispositions with which it is made, the greater or less earnestness with which Jesus is desired, and the greater or less love with which Jesus is welcomed and given due attention," stated Father Stefano Manelli, O.F.M. Conv., S.T.D., in his book Jesus our Eucharistic Love.^[1]

"A special advantage of Spiritual Communion is that we can make it as often as we like — even hundreds of times a day — when we like — even late at night — and wherever we like — even in a desert, or up in an airplane," Fr. Stefano continued.

Those who are aware of a mortal sin that needs to be confessed, can reach out to God through spiritual communion.

(The text from the John Paul II quote down until here is taken from a Wikipedia article, by the way) 

You can make a spiritual Communion thus:

"Oh my Jesus, I firmly believe that Thou art really and truly present in the Most Holy Sacrament. I love Thee with my whole heart, and because I love Thee, I am sorry for having offended Thee. I long to possess Thee within my soul, but as I cannot now receive Thee sacramentally, come at least in spirit into my heart. I unite myself to thee as if Thou wert already there; never let me be separated from Thee."

On Dressing Well.

There seems to be a general view that people who pay a lot of attention to the way they dress are silly and vain; I disagree. True, when taken too far caring for one's appearance can lead to vanity and by no means should it be the center of one's life. We should feel most confident in who we are in our Creator and our God and not care to please others, but, as material creatures we cannot be free from all material matters. I think dressing well (modestly) is good because it presents the wearer as having respect for the creation that is themselves.

One of the reasons I like watching old movies (other than the clean, clever humor and good plots) is the way people dress - they're seemingly held to a higher standard that we are today. Lately, I've been trying to take more time in how I dress when I go places - especially work. Usually at work I just wear a t-shirt and jeans but lately I've been wearing more skirts or dressing up the t-shirt by tucking it in and adding a sweater. Just these little things really improve my mood. Taking the time to present myself well makes me feel more confident and, as somebody who has always struggled with body image, it helps me see my body as God's good creation no matter it's size. Dressing well can add a little bit of beauty to the world (click here!) and show the intrinsic dignity and respect we, as men, have. So, I do not think caring about how one dresses is wrong - I think it has many benefits. Helen and I will try to get some photos on here soon!

Have a great day :)

Judging Others.

Today I read this blog and it made me think. This topic comes up often in my mind but is usually soon forgotten. I try (and fail) daily to live modestly and humbly but I over look a major flaw in myself when I judge others. I see people doing something or dressing in a way I think obviously not modest and/or vain and for a moment feel superior,thinking, "at least I'm not that proud" or "gosh, they're full of themselves." But that's the thing - it's a proof of my huge pride that I think myself in a position to judge others. I have plenty of my own flaws to work on; I have no right to go around judging others. God alone knows their heart and, as much as my pride hates to admit it, I do not know the whole story and am never in the right to judge.

Sweet Jesus, grant me a humble heart so that I may more closely imitate You and my most blessed Mother.