Monday, July 9, 2012

Temptation ≠ Sin

I was reading a chapter of a book by St.Frances de Sales which was focused on temptation vs actually sinning. He said that even if a soul was tempted with a certain sin his whole life, he would be doing no wrong in the sight of God, as long as he took no pleasure in the temptations or consented. St.Frances gives examples of saints who were so aggressively tempted in their lives but remained holy because they kept resisting. The easy thing would have been to give in, but they kept fighting.


In the next chapter, St.Frances illustrates this principle with the example of St. Catherine of Siena: 
"The devil was permitted by God vehemently to assault her purity so long as he touch her not, filled her heart with all manner of unholy suggestions, and, together with his associates, exposed her to all manner of assaults, which, although they were external, so penetrated her heart that, according to her own confession, all save her most refined and pure superior will was agitated by the storm. This lasted some time, until at last, beholding her Savior, she exclaimed, "O my Savior! Where wert Thou when my heart was so filled with darkness and base thoughts?" To which He replied "My daughter, I was within thy heart." "How couldst Thou be there," she asked, "when is was so foully tenanted? Dost Thou come into that which is impure?" But He inquired, "Tell me, did these unholy thoughts fill thy heart with pleasure or sadness, with delight or with bitterness?" "With exceeding sadness and bitterness." she made answer. The He replied, "Who filled thy heart with such sadness except Myself, who was hidden within thy soul? Believe Me, my daughter, had I not been there, these thoughts which assailed thy will, but could not master it, would have conquered and effected their entrance; thou wouldst freely have received them, and thus thy soul had perished; but inasmuch as I was within, I filled thy heart with displeasure and resistance, so that it resisted the temptation to the utmost of it's power. Therefore thy sufferings were worthy, and have greatly added to thy virtue and to thy strength!"

I know I have often struggled with thoughts popping into my head and then I get angry with myself for sinning. For example, if I'm trying not to be jealous or think bad things about another but sometimes the thoughts almost automatically pop up and sometimes lead to a stream of thoughts that I would never think; if I beat myself up over it, I'll get no where. But if I keep bringing all my worries and struggles to the Light they will then not be able to grow, develop, and wound me. I find this passage comforting because it say that if Jesus was not with me, I would delight in these bad thoughts. I, however, hate them and feel as if they are forced on me so there must be some goodness opposing them. 

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